Goleo VI was born in Botswana, a country that has never qualified for the World Cup. He was an early immigrant into Germany having decided that there was too much competition and not enough work. No wait! He was captured by poachers and transported by ship to Germany. At sea, he read the Life of Pi, and thought Cool! But he was determined not to just be a literary character but a living, breathing creature taken seriously. After deshipping at Hamburg, he joined a guy called Stu Sutcliffe and four other musicians from Liverpool. In the seedy Reeperbahn district they sang scratchy songs and wore tight black leather trousers. Goleo fell in love with Stu’s girlfriend, Astrid and made advances at her (it might have something to do with the fact that she wore a leotard). She was confused and vacillated berween the two. Stu stewed. And things came to a head one April evening when they both went at each other. Goleo remembered he was a lion and ate Stu. Besides he was feeling hungry and was out of money. He had just been being kicked out by the band for swatting them constantly with his tail and marking his territory. Their laundry bills skyrocketed. As much as they liked him, he had to go. Goleo wandered into the cool April night disconsolate but full.
Look for Part II (Goleo finds employment)