Poor Rooney. Now the Guardian claims he'll lose his marbles sitting in the isolated confines of his oxygen chamber...
Here are 10 things he can do to keep his sanity:
10. Polish his Nike boots
9. Sample a selection of the world's finest beers:
8. Host a FIFA party with Coleen:
7. Catch up with Roy of the Rovers:
6. Call up his mates at the pub, and chat up the odds on his return.
5. Play a round of canasta with Sepp Blatter.
4. Settle his gambling issues with Michael Owen. Owen could stand a few hours in the chamber as well!
3. Get a "victoria" tattoo (in Hindi) on his forearm.
2. Shave his head and take up yoga .
1. Work on "anger management" - see video below: