A revolutionary solution to soccer fouls

I think soccer players should play in the nude too and not just referees. There would be no more shirt tugging and short pulling. Ronaldo would have to be fit so that no one could latch onto his love handles plus he has to factor the future paucity of female companionship.
League teams would save on their laundry bill and paying Giorgio Armani ridiculous sums of money to design jerseys, allowing larger sums in tranfer fees. You could merchandise body paint/ tattoos. You know, go to the Arsenal gear shop at Highbury (well, they have new digs now) and buy the Cesc Fabregas body paint. Washable too. And only a quid a quart.
Plus, it would stop diving. The last thing you want is the camera to zone in on your butt while upended and display it to the world. There is a limit to free speech. And you don’t want NC-17 ratings for soccer games. It is not good for business having to schedule games after 10:00 PM in the night. Do you know where your children are?
You could go to the sideline and spritz yourself with cold water and towel off. Nice and refreshing. Come back and play with “fresh legs.” (a Balboa-ism).
And then the biggest turn off. There wouldn’t be any exchange of sweaty and stinky jerseys after the games. Thank goodness!
The game only improves.

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