An image used by Gold Flake cigarettes warning of the dangers of smoking bears the likeness of John Terry. The Chelsea captain is not amused and is planning legal action. There is no suggestion that Terry has a pack a day smoking habit other than that he appears winded in some of the recent games. The alternate explanation is smoking Gold Flake cigarettes makes you attractive to your best friend’s girlfriend and hence leads to much wanted extra-curricular activities with her. Which in turn generates much angst, a rejected handshake, and endless negative tabloid coverage. And that is a powerful antidote to craving a smoke. Or something like that.