Man Utd announces NYSE listing on day Higgs Boson officially exists

Science made one of its most important breakthroughs today as we came to know what constitutes matter. It was also the day, Utd made an announcement that it would be listed on the NYSE to raise $100million in shares in an effort to erase a monumental $661m in debt. It took 50 years from the time Sir Peter Higgs posited the existence of a sub atomic particle (thereafter called the Higgs boson) as the binding glue that holds matter together, to its announcement today of its official existence. Years upon years of labour and endless data crunching by scientists at CERN finally brought to fruition.
We will see how long it takes Man Utd to officially get rid off its debt obligations. One thinks it will take much, much longer. Once that happens we can hope for a quieter announcement but an equally monumental one in the thankless task of bringing football clubs to live within their means. However no Nobel Prizes will be disbursed. David Conn explains why this solution might not work for Cay-Man Utd.

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