There is an alternative universe in which Beckham didn’t get sent off, Banks didn’t get ill, the referee spotted Maradona’s handball and so on. In that universe England have won about seven World Cups.
When England get knocked out of this World Cup, an ancient ritual will unfold, writes Simon Kuper of the Financial Times.
Perfected over England’s previous 13 failures to win the World Cup away from home, it follows an all too familiar pattern:
1. Forecast the victory.
2. Face a former wartime enemy.
3. The game turned on one freakish piece of bad luck.
4. Every referee opposes England.
5. England are knocked out without getting anywhere near lifting the cup.
6. The day after elimination, normal life resumes.
7. A scapegoat is selected.
8. England enter the next World Cup thinking they will win it.
and on and on!
2 comments on “The Ritual: England’s 13 Failures”
This is hilarious and true! But the karma this year is good too, England has a bandwagon I think, of international commentators who are picking them, so I won’t tell any of my English friends.
It’s easy to think this way when your a fan, for those of us who could care less how England does in the world cup, they’re just another country with a decent squad.