Few owners are so relentlessly stealthy as Silent Stan. He comes across as a saint compared to leveraged buyout sleaze merchants Tom Hicks and George Gillett, Liverpool’s former owners or Mike Ashley, Newcastle’s current pantomime villain. Over the years, the majority owner of Arsenal has acquired his shares under the radar while his supporters have fallen foul and other stakeholders denied a seat on the board.

In the USA, Kroenke is known as the owner of a number of seriously underachieving sports teams with the exception of the Colorado Avalanche, sliding into gradual decay through neglect and lack of investment. Does that trope of Kroenkian self neglect sound familiar to Arsenal fans? He’s also the scion of the incredibly wealthy Walton family, owners of Walmart, where one can buy guns, ammo, and everything else Made in China including the Stars and Stripes. Their penny pinching extends infamously to their employees, double shifted and benefit shafted. The Waltons are consistently in the top 10 in Forbes richest of the rich list but come off as the sturdiest skinflints when it comes to benefaction as a percentage of total wealth.

So it should come as no surprise Stealthy Stan paid himself or his company Kroenke Sports and Entertainment, LLC an “advisement fee” related to services provided to the club’s broadband division. A cool £3m for a 3 hour TV digest of Arsenal titbits that few watch. That coincides very nicely with a 3% rise in ticket prices for fans, already the highest in the Premier League. Fans giveth, Stealthy Stan taketh. He’s never done it with his own US teams so why start with Arsenal?

As Amy Lawrence, long time Arsenal observer and Guardian writer points out Stealthy Stan is a huge admirer of the Glazer model of Man Utd style leveraged buyouts.

“Since they took over they have won and they have increased revenues by a huge amount,” Kroenke said in November 2011. “If I was a fan of that club, I would go there and go ‘Wow!’ because how could you do it any better?”

Except he lacks the cojones to actually pursue such a model which requires the legwork of getting loans secured against the club’s assets and hedge fund investments in PIK loans. Then paying off these PIK’s by floating a bond issue and further securing financing by getting listed on the NYSE. In fact, Stealthy Stan has never invested his own considerable fortune into club assets (player transfers/ infrastructure/paying down stadium debt) other than becoming Arsenal’s largest shareholder by buying stock.

Stan, reality check. You have the cushiest job in the Premier League. Show up once a year, mouth a few platitudes in praise of Arsene Wenger, raise ticket prices ad nauseam, pocket dividends, then get wheeled out again. Rinse and repeat. Unlike Man Utd, City, and Chelsea, who through loans or cash rich owners have to demand results on the pitch to mitigate those considerable risks over the years. Arsenal is as steady as they come.